The Holidays

Insanity has struck again.  It is the holidays.  We seemed to weather the Halloween to Thanksgiving stretch pretty well this year.  It has been nothing short of a mess since.  Routines are disrupted, excitement about the holidays rising, increased excitement with holiday preparations at school, increased energy levels due to weather decreasing outdoor play opportunities = WILD times. 

We have had a really good stretch in November so it is catching me off guard.  Academically speaking we are on much better footing.  He is engaged in school, he is staying on task, he is attentive.  He is doing better with reading and with homework as well. I'm very proud of the progress he is making.

Things always seem to be 2 steps forward and 1 step back.  Don't get me wrong, I know the net is still positive but it is frustrating and challenging.  K isn't verbalizing what is going on and the problem solver in me is really struggling with it.  Is it just the regular holiday crazies?  Excitement about Santa, school programs, vacations, and the holidays in general?  Or is something else going on that we haven't figured out. 

This week we even had an instance of K swapping food with a classmate.  As an allergy kid, that is so far beyond not a good idea it is mindboggling.  He is usually so good self-regulating with potential food risks and then swapping for candy?  That can be a deadly mistake and it scares me to death.  It is hard enough relinquishing control and knowingly sending your child into an environment that can be deadly, only to then have instances like this that could literally be fatal. 

Parenting is hard, very hard.  We have fantastic automated diagnostic systems and manuals for so many things in today' society that we have gotten quite spoiled.  It is generally so easy to figure things out.  Humans are clearly so much more complex.  Intersect the human brain, emotions, hormones, external factors and OH MY! 

Thinking peaceful, calming thoughts and looking forward to a weekend of family time and a lot of hugs and snuggles.  Perhaps it will help us create a bit of a sense of calm and normalcy.  It certainly cannot hurt.  Right?

Whoops, nothing since August! We have been busy and trying to figure things out

It has been a big transition from K to 1 and K has had his ups and downs so far.  He wrapped up his Fast ForWord program right before school started and we got his pre-post evaluation in mid-September.  He responded REALLY well to the program.  Some deficit areas are now considered WNL (within normal limits) and others improved pretty significantly.  All great news!

He started the year with his FM Transmitter in the classroom.  We have been fortunate in our teacher for this year.  She has used an FM transmitter before and has no issue with it...double thumbs up.  Secondly, she has an excellent energy level and loves the rowdy boys she has in her class.  And let me tell you, she has some rowdies!!!  She seems to 'get' K most days and works with him quite well letting him have his space when he needs it.  She has observed his coping mechanisms kicking in and runs with it in a manner that helps him yet keeps the class on track.

All of this said, with the improvements in APD and ongoing OT and now the start up with ST, we are really struggling with attention, behavior, fidgeting, ability to sit still, concentration, etc.  He falls out of his chair at school!  We had discussed ADHD quite a bit over the summer, M and I that is, and have had it on the radar.  We have never been fans of meds but as of this morning we are eating our words (never say never folks) and K is starting Focalin XR.  We reached a point where we felt that if there is something we can do, we owe it to him to try it.  He has enough challenges with APD, the essential tremor, SPD, gross motor delays, and fine motor delays that we owe it to him to try.

He did great with it this morning, a single spoonful of applesauce with the contents of the capsule sprinkled on it with a water chaser.

So, here we go!

Back to school has already come!

Wow, how did that happen?  Where did summer go?  Seriously, where did it go?

Things wrapped up well.  K completed Fast ForWord and the initial word from his evaluation with the Speech and Hearing Center is that he is still presenting with deficits but he has improved overall.  That is always a relief when you invest a lot of time and money into a program.  He goes for his language re-evaluation in about 10 days.

The FM transmitter has officially been purchased and is being used in the classroom.  There is another boy in K's class who has APD who does not have the transmitter so I encouraged the teacher to seat them together.  I had a fantastic meeting with the Dean of Students and K's teacher before school started.  She is new to the school but has been teaching for a while.  She has a great attitude, asked great questions and has even used an FM transmitter in her classrooms previously.  All good news!

We have met with a Child Psychologist a few times to work on family dynamics, discipline, and tantrums post APD diagnosis.  We have been struggling to figure out where to draw the line, where to cut slack, what are reasonable expectations, etc.  She has recommended a couple of books that we have found interesting...Quirky Kids by Peri Klass and Explosive Child by Ross Greene.  Like all such books not 100% applicable but enough nuggets and ideas to help us along the path as a family.

T started 2 day a week preschool last week.  I thought he would cry and make a scene at drop-off like he does at nursery when we go to church.  For some reason he did great!  Don't interpret that as complaint ;-)  We are relieved and excited.  He has also started potty training which is mind boggling for us considering K didn't really show any progress in that until after 3 1/2.  Another one of those moments where we realize how many signs we missed when K was younger.

I'm busy with work but that is par for the course.  Great projects, great work, just busy.

Hopes dashed but still having hope

So, today was allergy testing day for K.  He has been off of antihistimines since before I went to Park City.  Plenty of time for it to clear his system.  I was out of town on business and connected in Chicago last night flying in this morning for the appointment.

Well, he can eat corn without restraint which is GREAT news!  I was rather panicked at the thought of going corn free.  BUT, after a clear skin test in April and a blood test showing allergy in May, today's skin test confirmed that K is still very allergic to peanuts.  Sigh.

Why do I sigh?  K's school does NOT get food allergies.  They INSISTED on Chick-fil-a chicken nuggets for the Kindergarten Thanksgiving celebration at 10am.  K is to avoid peanuts and peanut oil.  I offered to pay for the alternative (it is a private school) but the principal would NOT budge.  So, I took a half day from work and sat between K and the rest of the kids with an Epi-Pen Jr. in one hand and wipes in the other.  I've gone round and round with the principal over the allergy issue.  She will not take it seriously :-(  Today's appointment means it is another point to confront with her.

So, now I have a child who has a special needs diagnosis that will involve visible interventions in the classroom who also has a life threatening food allergy.  I have this awful feeling in my stomach that I'm the mother of the kid that will be the class punching bag in another couple of years.  I'm working to build confidence in him to try to avoid this situation but it is honestly one of my biggest fears.  I know K will be a productive, happy, well-adjusted adult.  It is elementary, middle and high school that scare the daylights out of me as a mother.

I'm reading Quirky Kids and It's So Hard to be Your Friend right now.  Perhaps this is why I'm so focused on this.  I don't know.  I do know that kids can be downright mean.  K's allergy means he can't sit with the other kids at lunch.  He will have an FM transmitter in the classroom this year.  Part of me wants to not do those things but putting ones life on the line and suboptimtizing the rest of the learning potential due to social concerns just isn't right.

Sometimes choices are quite hard and do not have clarity at the time the choices are made.  I hope K and his classmates make good choices over the years.

I love you K!  You are an amazing boy!  I'm so proud of all you are doing this summer with Fast ForWord.  You will thrive and do great things!

The chaos continues but life is good

So, we are a month into the house being a mess due to our home improvement project.  I had to go to pick up more supplies today, the second time we have done so since starting.  The job was supposed to be finished June 23, today is July 10 and there are at LEAST two days of work left.  I am SO over it.  I want my house back.  We are working until 10pm at night sorting materials each night.  It looks good so far but I'm not sure the price was worth it.  I'm sure over time it will be but I'm jaded right now.

On another note, I'm mortified to admit that K and I were late to his appointment with the Psych today.  I got home after errands and forgot there was no carseat in my car and well, we didn't get there in time.  She was understanding but it frustrates me that I goofed.  I wanted to get this underway and it will have to wait until next week.  Our appointment is 8am next week which means up and out on a Saturday.

K started Fast ForWord this week.  He seems to be doing well with it and enjoying it.  He earned 11 Fast ForWord dollars and his prize for the week was a set of Heroes and Villans Star Wars playing cards.  So, we have not transferred his obsession to something that all of us can enjoy which is a good thing.  We have been playing games of War all weekend and K is absolutely LOVING it.  I like that he loves it as it is good from a math, general processing and motor skills perspective.  Sweeping and stacking the cards quickly is putting him to work quite a bit.

Other than the home improvement project, things are generally very good.

We had a great trip last weekend as a family to see my brother and his family.  We had a fantastic time which included the Bronx Zoo, multiple sets of fireworks, boat rides on the Hudson, swimming, playing in my brother's AWESOME yard,  a trip into the city for dinner and The Addams Family for my husband and I, and plenty of great play time for the cousins.

This weekend we are enjoying our first weekend at home as a family in three weeks.  The weather seems to have broken a bit and we are enjoying play time inside and out.  Life is good!

What is my intent?

To be honest, I'm not 100% sure.  I attended evoconference (#evoconf on Twitter) this week for work.  We were sponsors of the conference but I also attended as a fledgling blogger.  Two producers from Oprah spoke in one of the keynotes and said one of the questions they ask of the guests is 'What is your intent?'.  They emphasized the importance of intent in the space of social media and life in general.

So, what is my intent?  I've been pondering it a lot as I enjoyed the beautiful scenery in Park City, UT and as I traveled home again.  At a higher level it is to live a positive life, love those around me, do my best as a mother, do good in general, and be a positive contributor to society.  As it relates to blogging, I really am not sure.

I'm a Mommy.  I'm a WOHM.  I'm the mother of a special needs child.  I'm a wife.  I'm a daughter.  I'm a sister.  I'm an employer.  Some of these jobs I do better than others.  I am human, I cannot be everything to everyone.  I have a lot of opportunity areas in life.  There are many places I feel I should be doing more but I haven't quite figured out how to get there.

Back to blogging.  What is my intent?  I believe my intent is to talk about some of the challenges of all of these things.  Some days I suspect my blog will drift more to the side of raising a special needs child and Auditory Processing Disorder.  Then again, I'm not sure K has been fully diagnosed so making it an APD blog seems narrow.

So, for now, I soak in the words and thoughts shared at EVO and just keep typing.  I found the closing keynote by Brene Brown (#brenebrown and www.brenebrown.com) and Karen Walrond (#chookooloonks and www.chookooloonks.com) to be incredibly inspiring.  The concepts of authenticity and embracing your different are hard ones for many women to come to terms with on a day to day basis.  We so struggle with being everything to everyone and we simply cannot live up to such standards.

So, for now, I'm a mother, a wife, a daughter, an employee, a blogger, a housekeeper, and an employer.  I will do my best and be who I am in those endeavors.

I will also be looking forward to Brene and Karen's new books this fall.

Thanks Evo Conference for the food for thought, the good times, and the beautiful scenery.

Absolute Chaos!

Home improvement projects are painful.  There is absolutely no way around it.  If you vacate during the work, you miss errors and mistakes and come home at a point too late.  If you live in the house during it the disruption of routine, the noise, the mess, the clutter...OH MY!

We have wanted hardwood floors since we bought our house in early 2005.  We are an atopic family.  Dust allergies abounding, not to mention allergies to pretty much everything green.  So, hardwoods are perfect.  We decided to go ahead and do it this spring.  We picked our floor, got the estimates and work started last Monday.

Calamity after calamity.  Cracked boards, gauges, albino board next to dark board in prominent place.  Nothing life threatening but certainly a PITA!  The contractor is holding up their end of the deal but it is still painful.

So, do I really want to design and build the house of my dreams?  If 1,200 sq. ft. of hardwood is this painful what would a whole house be...not sure I have it in me.

M and I are traveling to Park City this week without the kids so I can attend the Evo Conference (#evoconf  www.evoconference.com) for work.  It should be a nice getaway and it should significantly help this pitiful blog ;-)   Shortly thereafter we will go to see my brother for the first time in about 7 years (I've seen him but not been to his house).  I suspect our house will be chaotic for a while.

K had his orientation for Fast ForWord this week and did well with it.  He starts July 6th...2 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks.  Fingers crossed that it jump starts him for 1st grade.

It is hard to not make comparisons

So, K and T are 4 years and 2 days apart age-wise.  I've talked a lot about K and his challenges.  We didn't really get started on figuring all of it out until he was 4 which was when we moved him from a daycare to the parochial pre-school.  What a journey it has been since.

T is a blossoming 2 year old.  He is learning and developing and essentially bursting at the seams.  It makes me realize what we missed with K.  I cannot go back and change the past but given early intervention is the key, it does make me want to bang my head against the wall quite a bit.

T is delayed in teething but seemingly not so on anything else.  He can count to 12, he can count down from 10 (to blastoff), he can recognize about 10 letters, he easily recognize shapes in the world (as opposed to identifying on a shape puzzle).  His words are exploding, his reasoning is impressive, and to top it off his physical capabilities are rapidly approaching K's.

M and I work hard to give the boys their individual time to allow each of them to shine in the way that is most relevant to them.  It is hard but appreciated.  K shines so much when we spend the one-on-one time and he isn't competing.  You can tell that he can tell that he is different than T.  It breaks my heart but it is only the first of many times that he will learn this and have to cope.  So, we work on developing his confidence and skills.

I worry about what is to come.  Kids are cruel.  I worry about accomodations at school causing him to be picked on by peers.  Hopefully his extrovert nature will help overcome that.  We will cross the bridge when we come to it.  He was pretty down by the end of the school year 'I can't know how to do that' was creeping back into his lexicon.  It breaks a mother's heart but at the same time strengthens the resolve to provide tools.

He is thriving in camp right now.  He came home beaming about the fish he caught today.  He is red faced and absolutely exhausted by the end of the day.  Saturday he took a 2 hour nap for the first time in ages.  Our hope is to restore his confidence over the summer with fun activities that help push his core muscles and gross motor not to mention help with APD by forcing bilateral involvement.  Fast ForWord should help establish more solid footing before school starts on a more academic level.

On another note, a colleague lost her son far too early.  It has made me hug and hold my boys even more closely.  Please keep the family of Henry Louis Granju in your thoughts and prayers.   You can read more on his mother's blog  http://mamapundit.com/    Some of the reason I fear how cruel kids are is that I could see K wanting to fit in and falling in with the wrong crowd.

My initial consult with the Child Psych regarding K is in late June.  Stay tuned.

Really? No, really? Corn?

I am positively reeling.  Sucker punch to the gut, or baseball bat type reeling.  If I may say so, that it saying something.  I'm talking, that if it were here, I could polish off a whole package of Oreos, or a quart of ice cream.  I'm stunned, I'm panicked, I'm absolutely reeling.

I have been an allergy parent for 6 years.  My 6 year old K has had no less than 4 rounds of skin prick testing and 4 rounds of RAST blood work.  He had his most recent round of skin testing in April and they happened to include corn.

He tested positive.  The lovely nurse practitioner said it could be a false positive due to high pollen season. I shrugged and went along happily.  She wanted to rule it out by including it on the RAST panel they were running because K's peanut skin test was negative.

The bloodwork came back yesterday.  There was no ruling out.  It was confirmed.  Corn.  An American boy living in the suburbs has both positive skin and blood tests to corn.  This isn't a kid who lives adjacent to Alice Waters in Berkeley.  A suburban American kid in East Tennessee.

No really...corn.  Not gluten, not nuts, not milk, all of which seem to be at least somewhat understandable in today's society.  But corn.  Not in the top 8, with no labeling requirements to address it, corn.

WTH????

The NP said she would like us to remove corn from his diet until we come back July 22.

Corn?

For the first time in my life as an allergy parent I honestly don't know that I can do strict avoidance.  I am leaning towards only removing closer to whole things.  Actual corn, corn chips, corn muffins, use of corn meal, etc.

Really, could a kid who existed almost solely on ketchup, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, crackers, french fries for how many years be allergic to processed corn?   The ketchup, nuggets and crackers are all laden with it.

On the flip side, we have had many unexplained instances where after eating a meal K has described his body as tingly.  We have had many instances of that with mixed vegetables.  That was the reason she put corn on the spt panel.  We thought he was making stuff up.

No popcorn?  No Fritos?  A Southern kid who can't eat cornbread?  No nachos?

My grocery bill just went up by $150/month if this is going to be our new reality.

I am honestly rather paralyzed in terms of what to do.

Corn???

Finding the line

So, we have the diagnosis of APD.  It is helpful to know that K hasn't just been willfully disobediant and/or defiant.  It has helped our relationships with him to know that.  BUT, we are struggling with how do we differentiate between blatant behavioral issues and APD related lack of understanding.  It is a challenging place to be as a parent.

Clearly there are boundaries.  Hauling off and hitting his brother is automatic time out for K.  But, what about 'K, go do ~insert single task here~'?   

Volume level in the house is another one.  Inside voices has been a phrase we have used for 5 years with K.  Clearly not something new.  That said, does K's volume escalate when he is struggling due to APD?  Kevin is also a sensory seeker (SID) so that coupled with the issues of not being able to 'hear' and yikes what is a parent to do?

His diagnosis was generalized APD with larger issues (I know that isn't the right phrase) with Tolerance Memory Fading and Decoding.  One example from the testing was the test sentence was 'Answer the telephone when it rings.' and K heard 'How does the doorbell ring?'.   During another part of the testing one word was played in one ear, another in the other, and two words simultaneously in both.  K was instructed to repeat the 4 words and he shut down not long into it because, to quote K, 'there aren't 4 words!'.

I'm doing some reading right now to ground myself and try to get the ball rolling, so to speak.  K starts Fast ForWord on July 6 and will do that through August 16 with school starting the 18th.  He will continue in OT during the summer and will start speech therapy in August with a ST who goes to visits his school (private school and private ST).

As a type A, control freak mother, I am coming to terms with things not being controllable, predictable, or even at times understandable.  It is humbling.  But, the love I feel for my children is endless and supporting, loving, and helping them is far more important to me than being in control.

Similar to when we got the allergy diagnosis there is a period of grieving, a time to reflect upon that which won't play out how we anticipated and hoped.  I wouldn't trade K for anything, so it is merely a time where I come to terms with the diagnosis,  accept things for what they are, arm myself with as much knowledge as possible, and move on with the process of providing him with the tools and skills to be his best, whatever that may be.

How can I resist a smile like this, right?  Smiles like the one in the picture below are all the encouragement a mother needs.

Competitiveness and a special needs child

The end of the school year has been hard on me. There is good news that my above average sized 6 year old will proceed to first grade, but it is with some concern and trepidation on Mommy's part. I cringe when I read updates on how fantastic friends kids did. I feel like a big pile of doggy doo when I feel that way, but it doesn't eliminate the fact that it is how I feel. Then I feel like imposter Mommy. You know, where you feel you are coming up with things wrong with your child to explain away what is really poor parenting. Sigh.

That brings me back to my personal flaws. I'm realizing just how competitive I am. Reading K's end of year scores and test results was humbling for me. I have been incredibly blessed throughout my personal academic career. Things came easy to me and I did well. Things are not coming easy to K and it is new territory. It terrifies me as a mother. I know how mean and cruel kids are as social skills didn't come easy to me growing up. I really fear for K and how his classmates will treat him. He doesn't understand the nuances of interpersonal relationships. APD is part of it. Some days I wonder if it is more. I've made a phone call to follow up on those moments of wonder.

His reading and language marks were average to a touch below average. His math skills were average to above average (not surprising for anyone who knows M and I). His handwriting was scored marginal, as in doesn't meet standards for grade. K has been working the Handwriting Without Tears (www.hwtears.com) program for well over a year, and well, K can't write his letters without tears. K's essential tremor contributes, but really, if he can't meet Kindergarten standards will he ever be able to meet them? Then again, does it really matter? Seriously, how many job interviews start with a handwriting sample? Thank goodness for the digital era.

I don't want life to be easy for my kids but I certainly don't wish that it be hard for them. K is going to have challenges all the way through school. I'm looking forward to his APD therapy program starting in July so we can see how that goes. I have also called for an appointment with a Psychologist who specializes in developmental disorders. I want to get the ball rolling to see if there is more going on than what we have figured out so far.

Seriously, the kid has seen almost every specialist in town: GI, Allergist, ENT (Ontolaryngology round one), Opthalmologist, Otolaryngology round two (APD diagnosis), Neurologist, Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, and now Child Psychologist. Please don't get me wrong, we are AMAZINGLY blessed parents. He is an amazing, beautiful, loving child. He just has some challenges and we are trying to figure out how to best help him.

As you would say in digital land I heart K! He is my big boy. I adore him and promise to him that I'll figure this out and try my best to make it easier for him.

Random thoughts, mostly about K

Short business trips always end up being a time of some introspection. Longer trips I really start missing my guys, but shorter trips allow me some time to stop and think about things for a bit without getting lonely. Time with my thoughts is fleeting so I love the chance. One of my co-workers always stimulates positive thinking for me and helps me remember what is important, what to focus on, and how to keep all the balls in the air.

I’m really not sure where things are headed with K. The APD diagnosis gives us something to work with over the summer. There are other things still on the table that I have moments of worry about but then it passes too. We may still be dealing with ADHD or with Asperger’s. I have mixed feelings about both but know ‘what’ it is doesn’t matter, the love I feel for him is the same. I just want to know how to best support and help him develop. We have to work on the APD first to see if that helps the symptoms of the others.

Today was a big day for us. It was the last day of school. K has done well enough that he isn’t being held back so we are officially the parents of a first grader. I’m not sure how that has come to pass. Seven years ago this week I found out I was pregnant with K. Now he is a first grader. Somehow it seems like it was just a little while ago I saw that second line of the test.

T starts two day a week preschool in August. It will be the start of a transition. He is growing and developing so quickly. It really makes M and I step back and realize how much we missed with K. T is so much more verbal, knows many shapes, identifies letters, and counts. All stuff that K didn’t do until far later. Layer on top T’s physical strengths and abilities and boy do we feel like cruddy parents who missed a lot of signs that K was struggling. That said, nothing we can do to change that so keep working to help and support him as much as possible.

Work has been busy. Good busy, but crazy busy. M is going to come with me to EVO in Park City later this month. It is nice when work and life briefly coincide. The kids will stay here but we are really looking forward to the time together. Work is sponsoring the conference so that part will also be very interesting. I’m hoping to get a clue about blogging while I’m there and this will hopefully be a better place to visit come July.

The weekend after EVO we are visiting my brother and his family in NY and we are VERY, VERY excited about that. The cousins have a blast together. Stay tuned for pictures.

Crazy Couple of Months

Wow, what a crazy couple of months it has been. I need to get on here more frequently as an outlet. I've been letting my desire for perfection get in the way. So, what has happened since I last posted?

2 more teeth came out
T sprouted 3 new teeth
K, Mommy and Daddy went to Disney for Easter weekend
Work has been INSANE including travel
K was diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder
K has passed one round of allergy testing which indicates he MAY be outgrowing his peanut allergy
T is becoming increasingly verbal and making M and I feel badly about not realizing K had issues earlier
Family vacation planned to visit my brother in New York

I am sure I'll be back to post more about APD. I'm trying to find my way through it and figure out what we need to do. K is signed up for Fast ForWord this summer and I've spoken to the speech therapist we will work with during the school year. Of course, NONE of it is covered by insurance as it is not due to disease, illness or injury. Also trying to figure out details on an FM transmitter for the classroom.

I'm battling some crud which I believe is the culmination of a couple of months of stress. Every now and then the body has to throw up the flag of surrender and recover. Thank goodness for antibiotics!!!

Sorry for my shoddy blogging. I just started playing with the blog in January and haven't had time to figure out what I want to do with it. Perhaps I'll get some ideas at EVO in Park City. It may end up morphing a bit to be more about APD or it may stay as a general blog about the kids. Who knows???

Bloody mouth and bloggers. What a week!

Such interesting weeks we are having these days. We had a very good weekend and started our week off well. We knew it was a busy week but nothing out of the ordinary. Things were going well with a good offsite meeting for work and then the dreaded text came at 4pm from our Nanny 'Call me ASAP.' The words that make a mom's heart sink. The first words I heard were 'we are on the way to the ER.' Yep, it REALLY was that call.

We sorted things out a bit and I figured out it was an oral emergency and after a quick phone call we discovere K's pediatric dentist was able to get us in as soon as we could get there. I met them at the dentist and about puked when I saw him. He had a huge bloody fat lip and his top left tooth was dangling from bloody gums. I try to not be a helicopter mom but I am a mom who does not let her kids run down hills. I cringe when I see kids running downhill on hard surfaces because I worry about them falling on their mouth.

Well, I am so proud of my little guy. The x-rays showed no concerning damage to his permanent teeth or any of the other baby teeth. K didn't whimper, cry or even flinch when the dentist pulled the tooth without any numbing. He has three other teeth that are now loose and will likely fall out early. Once we got in the car he declared it THE.BEST.DAY.EVER! He was tickled pink that he got two stickers and an army man from the dentist and that he got to have ice cream and applesauce for dinner. Not to mention that the Tooth Fairy would be coming too.

How our little ones remind us of the true joys in life, no? Ice cream for dinner is a pretty darned good day, no? He really reminded me that the little things in life are quite often the really good ones. We are thankful it happened now instead of once the permanent teeth were in and also thankful it wasn't an arm or leg.

I had a chuckle when I got over the initial panic of the situation. The reason is because of the way the accident happened. K was at his weekly Occupational Therapy appointment doing an obstacle course that helps him with his balance and spatial awareness. He tripped over a balance beam and fell face first onto a ramp they use with a scooter board. Final score: Ramp 1 - K's mouth 0. Well, I guess we have some pretty good reasons to continue the OT ;-)

As for bloggers and what they have to do with the week? A couple of weeks ago I noticed there was going to be a Social Media Forum here in town. I sent in my RSVP and then found out a co-worker was going to be on the final panel of the session. Well, the co-worker ended up sick and asked me to fill in and viola, there I was on stage having a great time with it. It went pretty well for my first time doing something like that. I was impressed by the fact that our panel was all women and I felt we did a great job of addressing some of the issues of social media in business. If you want to know more search #knoxsummit on Twitter.

Travel and tremors

Busy seems to be an understatement. Please don’t get me wrong, life is good. I love the work I am doing, love watching the boys grow, love the adventure that is otherwise known as life.

Last week took me to Houston for work, this morning takes me to Chicago. Last week’s air travel home from Houston was bumpy! I actually went looking for the little white bag. The weather patterns this winter have been crazy. There was snow in 49 of the 50 states last week. It is all that lovely global warming at work.

Wedged between my business trips was a trip to Florida to visit Nanny and PopPop. Unfortunately the weather didn’t cooperate with our jaunt to Florida. My brother, his wife and two kids (E who is 7 and C who is 5) were snowed in and their flight from LGA cancelled on Wednesday. The purpose of the trip was to get my family together for a weekend. Unfortunately, it didn’t work as planned.

The Florida trip was one of multiple firsts. It was my first zone defense trip, as I went on my own with both boys. It was also T’s first time flying. K took more than 20 flights by the time he was 2, T not so much the air traveler. I have to give some MAJOR props to the Cares harness, which is FAA approved. My little wild man was happily restrained making Mommy’s life MUCH easier on our 4 flights. To find out more information, visit www.kidsflysafe.com

It was unseasonably cool in Ft. Myers. The pictures of the trip look like we were only there for two days because the boys had to keep re-wearing the long sleeve/long legged items I had packed. We arrived late Thursday and stayed until mid-day Monday. They boys shared a room and did well with the notable exception of T mastering the art of crib escape. The distance from mattress to top was 24”. After escape number 4, I placed a call to Daddy adding a chore to his to-do list for the weekend. Convert the crib to a toddler bed PRONTO. No need for a trip to the ER in the middle of the night for a compound fracture (his bedroom floors at home are laminate).

My parents started my trip well with a trip to the spa for an hour massage. Not surprisingly, Nan, the poor woman who had to work on my tense body, found some knots that ‘she could take home and work on all weekend’. Relaxing just the same and a nice start. They boys were spoiled with a trip to the toy store and pizza for lunch. Friday was generally low key and a pleasant day.

K and I were able to get in our one and only time in the water that afternoon. We had a blast chasing the submarining sinker that was part of the toy store loot. The Floridians find 70 far too cold to swim, not to mention it was sprinkling rain, so we had the pool completely to ourselves. It was perfect timing as the lightening sirens started within 30 minutes of our return to the condo.

Saturday took us on a pirate cruise on The Pieces of Eight, otherwise known as a marketing ploy to suck money out of unsuspecting, or completely willing and happy, grandparents. There were many opportunities to spend money with hats and souvenir cups for sail on the ship and a lovely gift shop full of pirate themed gear at the end of the pier.

Additionally, smart operations by the company that runs it, they require a credit card at the time of booking a reservation. At 59 degrees and with small craft warnings, it wasn’t the best day for a pirate cruise. But, ahoy mate, we went as they had our credit card number. K loved it, we enjoyed it, T soaked it in like a sponge from the comfort of his stroller. Face painting, story telling, limbo dancing under a stick with a rubber skeleton tied to it, treasure gathering, and various other games for 90 minutes (and free Diet Coke refills with the purchase of a $4 plastic mug) left K wiped out.

Sunday took us on more adventures. K had bike races with PopPop, did some bird watching from the bay window, and then PopPop, K, T and I hit the Naples Zoo. They have spent a lot of money and significantly upgraded their facilities. I’m not one who is generally bothered by zoos and aquariums. I feel they play a role in conservation of species, rehabilitating injured animals, etc. That said, the Naples Zoo used to be depressing to me and I would cringe when it was suggested as an outing. They have significantly increased the size of the habitats for the animals that bothered me and added a new bear exhibit.

The piece de resistance of the zoo is their primate cruise in Lake Victoria (a tiny man made lake at the zoo). You board a pontoon boat and go out in the little lake to see a series of islands, each containing a different species of primate. The second we pulled back from the doc, T started to oh-oh-ah-ah as he spotted the lesser apes. He was very happy to be on a boat and watching the primates play. Again, more spoiling in the gift shop with the acquisition of a small stuffed alligator and two plastic giraffes (the second was an odd choice by T given there are not giraffes at the Naples Zoo).

The trip went well, the boys were charming on the flights, and Mommy was only slightly harried trying to handle them alone in the Atlanta airport where both of our connections were made. Thankfully Mommy has learned how to pack for visits to the grandparents. Arrive with bags with plenty of extra room and space taken up by consumables, leave with suitcases bulging and testing the size limits of the airlines. Good news, I have NOT sworn off traveling alone with the boys ;-)

I don’t think I ever update on our neurologist appointment during birthday week. K was diagnosed with an essential tremor. It is a relatively benign neurological condition that is hereditary in over 50% of the cases. I say relatively benign as it is a progressive condition and it can eventually cause problems with day-to-day functioning. When it progresses to that point, medication can help but the side effects are many so meds are avoided if at all possible.

It progresses at varying rates and K will be re-evaluated in 6 months to see if, and how quickly, his is progressing. An essential tremor is fairly common, and is characterized by the hand shaking when the muscles in the hand engage in fine muscle activities (opposite of how Parkinson’s presents). It can spread to the arms, neck and head with time. My son will most likely never be a sharpshooter or neurosurgeon but Mommy has a test during the teen years for underage drinking, it is widely reported that ingesting alcohol makes the tremor settle. All is good and it is about the best news you can get when you are sent off to the neurologist, short of a complete all clear.

Happy Birthday Baby!

I am playing catch up on my baby’s birthday. How is he two? Seriously, how did THAT happen? He was just an 8 pound, 8 ounce baby who looked so scrawny to us (K was 9 pounds, 13 ounces). Really, it was just yesterday. Or not. Sigh.

So, the baby days are officially over. I can no longer deny it. Thomas has turned 2 and Kevin has turned 6. It is amazing to think that I have a school boy and toddler verging on little boy. I don’t shed tears but yet there is a certain coming to terms that has to happen. I’m not one of those people who just melts at the sight of an infant but yet there is something, regardless of how finished you are with the phase, that you have to deal with emotionally.

Kevin’s OT is trying to raise money for intensive therapy for her daughter. I’m passing on much of our hand-me-downs and baby gear to her in preparation for a large garage sale she is having.If you would like to know more, please visit http://www.sendclaire.com/ to get the details. The nickel tour is that her daughter had a stroke around the time of birth and the therapy they want to pursue isn’t covered by insurance and will cost more than $30k in less than a year. It is cathartic having our baby stuff become useful again. It helps the transition.

We had a couple of friends over to celebrate with T. He had a good time with a friend’s little boy A. They played quite well together. Thomas is a big two year old and he towered over A, who turned 2 in October, but thankfully T didn’t intimidate him.

Happy, belated, birthday little man. I love you SO much and am so glad you came into our lives. I look forward to every day that I get to spend with you, just as I do with your big brother.

Food allergies suck!

There is no delicate way to phrase it. One child’s favorite food can kill my son. People who haven’t experienced food allergies find it ridiculous, alarmist, and ridiculous. Really? Alarmist? Do we let kids bring guns to school? No! Why would we allow something we KNOW can kill someone into the school and seemingly endorse said thing?

I’ve been battling K’s school this year. They are not a peanut free school and they don’t have a stated policy regarding food brought into the school. I get not claiming to be peanut free, and honestly, even as a food allergy parent I’m not a fan of peanut free schools as I feel they create a false sense of security.

For their Thanksgiving feast they INSISTED on Chick-fil-a chicken minis. Gee, lets let 50 Kindergarteners cover their hands with a known allergen. The solution was to put K at the head of the seating arrangement with stuffed animals on either side of him as buffer from the other kids. I offered to pay for an alternative food but they wouldn’t do it. What is so special about Chick-fil-a that they have to have it?

That leads to today. My phone rang at 1:03pm. I was on the phone with M at the time. The clinic nurse quickly passed me to K’s Teachers Aide and I could hear the fear and panic in her voice. K had eaten popcorn at the student-teacher volleyball game and it had been popped in peanut oil. Is this the 1950’s? Seriously? What the heck is the school thinking serving 600+ people something made with one of the deadliest allergens?

Oh, that is right, research shows that a very low percentage of people react to nut oils. Gee, thanks for the statistics, but my kid is one of the few that is the exception.

The response from the school:

I am very sorry for what occurred this afternoon. The popcorn was not brought from an outside source, rather it was made in our school concession stand. Certainly, we should have known that the popcorn was made in peanut oil, however we had parent volunteers making the popcorn.

In our correspondence concerning Catholic Schools Week sent out through the Friday Folder, January 22, we stated that the children would be served popcorn on Thursday-School Spirit Day.

We are thankful that K had no adverse reaction to the popcorn. As soon as Mrs. M learned that the popcorn had been popped using peanut oil, she responded quickly and appropriately. And we are grateful to you for bringing him an alternative snack.

Thank you for expressing your concern. We will continue to strive to do our best in safeguarding children with allergies.

Yeah, thanks. No adverse reaction? It took two doses of Benadryl to clear his face. Layer on top of that the fact that he was afraid to eat dinner tonight because it might not be safe. He has apologized at least 10 times that I’ve heard today for eating something with nuts. It has brought tears to my eyes so many times. He thinks it is his fault. He thinks it is his fault rather than the idiotic school policies.

Stupid freaking school. Why is it so hard to not have snacks at school functions? Why must every celebration be accompanied by food? Why can we so willingly and KNOWINGLY put kids at risk but then freak out about much smaller things?

I don’t get it. I don’t think I ever will. I do feel confident that God blessed me with K for a reason. Someone who 'gets it', embraces it and will advocate for him.

It is here! Birthday week!

How is he turning 6? It blows me away. I remember the morning he was born quite vividly. Playing UNO waiting for the OR to open up. His delivery, our time in the recovery room. They grow up so quickly. Just yesterday K said 'Mommy, my jeans are almost too short now. I must have grown some more'. He is right! Just last week they would slip under his heel if he didn't have shoes on and now, not so much. Happy almost birthday to my big guy!

It may all work out after all. T cried out at 5:45 and was up for good at 6:15. Perhaps an early nap before K's 1pm party???? I guess the early morning really is a fortuitous turn of events.

I started the day early with T yesterday too. By the time we left for the YMCA I had made a double batch of buttercream and tinted it blue for the cake and stuffed the goody bags (little sea animals and some Wikki Sticks). In the afternoon, after a Sam's Club run the official assembly began. Last year's cake was hard to transport as it didn't fit in any sort of carrier. This year, my goal was to make it fit. Thankfully a 6 can result in more cake from a small space than a 5 can.

My general cake process: cut pattern from paper, use pattern to cut cake, put cake together on covered board, ice and decorate. I've yet to figure out how to easily do the sides of the cake without getting crumbs in it. It is rather time consuming. The 6 took me about 2 hours to ice which is far better than last year's 5.

We have not heard from 4 kids but everyone else in the class is coming. That leaves us with at least 15 kids for our Little Gym party. I decided to not cut out the center of the 6 to maximize the amount of cake we have. The final step is decorating. This year I'm using a different set of Safari Ltd. animals and rock candy. The empty space in the front is for the candles.

It is another rainy day here. I was planning on walking the neighborhood this morning to get some exercise since getting to the YMCA won't be happening with the party. I really dislike the Mall but it might be my only option for getting some exercise (my goal is 4 days a week). I'm still sore from my swim yesterday. I'm up to 2,500 yards which feels good.

Have a fantastic day! I'll report back at some point with pictures of our week.

Building Anxiety

It has been one of those weeks. I’m busy, good busy, fun busy, but still busy. The birthdays are imminent. I haven’t started baking. Due to K’s allergies I must bake all of our cakes. Baking is not my gig, cooking is. Yes, having kids changes you and makes you willing to do things you would have never considered. The first celebration is Sunday. Then Tuesday, and Thursday, and Sunday. It will get done but my anxiety is building.

Layer on top a neurologist appointment for K on Monday. He was a trooper for his EEG in Deccember. I swear it is a test of the parents more than a test of the kids. I had to keep him up until midnight and wake him up at 4 am. No food after midnight. All the parents out there know that sleep deprivation can lead only two places: the grumpies or the sillies. Well, praise the Lord we got the sillies!

So, where was this headed? The EEG was before Christmas and our appointment is Monday. They would have called if it was BAD, right? Right? That wasn’t rhetorical. My ostrich in the sand approach has worn thin now that we are within a week of the appointment. So, leave it to me to layer birthday, neurologist, visiting in-laws, parties and more into a single week. I’m a freaking glutton for punishment. Or, perhaps I find distraction helpful.

Why to the neurologist? K is a sweet, happy, but somewhat yet to be understood child. I adore him with all my heart and soul and want to help him succeed as best I can. He has gross motor and fine motor delays (roughly 6mo – 2 year delay dependent upon particular area) and is a sensory seeker. I’ve mentioned his allergies previously and this is an area where they come into play. I, personally, believe many of his issues stem from his allergies (food, environmental, and seasonal) and his EE.

EE, what is that? K was diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis in August of 2004. An allergic reaction to something he was eating in his esophagus. It was diagnosed via endoscopy where the GI found the start of ulcers in his not yet 8 month old body. It was a sobering time for us. K was put on Reglan, Nexium, Nasonex, and Neocate (a $130/10 day supply elemental formula). Long story short, he was reacting to dairy, soy, nuts, and all other legumes as well as other random things and it was damaging his esophagus.

Back to today. We aren’t sure what is going on with K. He is seeing the neurologist Monday. He is going for an auditory processing evaluation in April. He is in OT once a week with his PHENOMENAL therapist Ms. Michelle. We just want to give him his best chance. He doesn’t have any profound issues and we are blessed. He is our favorite almost 6 year old.

One possibility is that he could be having absent seizures. I’ve purposefully avoided Google on this one. It has led me astray too many times. Like everything else with K, it is what it is and we will deal. It is part of what makes him the gem that he is. Some of K's specialness is what has led me to meet some people who have become dear to me over the years. Thank goodness for the internet, online communities, and the ability for the internet to bring people together at the right times.

Meanwhile, back to cake baking and diversion. More to come.

Dam* Marketers

Marketing really makes me wonder sometimes. Yes, I work in marketing. Yes, I’ve worked in marketing for over 17 years (did I admit that?). I work for a food manufacturer, Bush Brothers, and am generally immune to the talk about marketing to kids, as our products aren’t marketed to kids. Really, what is the harm in marketing beans to kids?

I’m the mother of two young boys. It is amazing to see the impact of marketing on them. All right, amazing probably isn’t the right word. Frightening? Scary? Terrifying? In the past two weeks both of the kids have proven how they really are sponges. Scary little sponges.

Our first example involves, K, who will be 6 in just over a week. We were having a stretch of cold weather, unseasonably cold. School was closed and he was rather cooped up/caged. Trying to find things to occupy and absolutely stir crazy sensory seeking 5 year old is to say the least challenging. Enter a new toy that Mommy had stashed in the sensory bin.

K walks into the room…’Mommy, you bought BENDAROOS!!!! Can I play with them? Are they for me? I’m so excited.’ I respond that yes he can open them and play with them. About 5 minutes later we are sitting at the kitchen table playing with the Bendaroos and he asks ‘Mommy, did you double your order?’ I about fell off my chair. He proceeded to spout out the copy from the infomercial for Bendaroos. I laughed and nearly cried. Here is a kid who claims he doesn’t know the sight words of 'he' and 'she' yet he can repeat, verbatim, about 6 sentences of copy. Marketing works.

Our second example involves T. Our Nanny, A, was shopping at Walmart with him. K was in school. Apparently they were going down the aisle and T freaked out. He wanted some Disney Take ‘n Toss sippy cups. He was pitching a fit so she got them for him.

Where is the marketing in this? He calls the cups hot dog. Why? They have the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse characters on them. For those without kids, or who choose to not watch tv, the theme song for MMC includes ‘hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog.’ Marketing works! On a side note, guess I know what I’ll bring T as a souvenir from Disney when we take K in April ;-)

Both tales led to the conclusion that TV watching needs to back off for the kids. They have plenty of toys, plenty to do. Dam* marketers.

The annual insanity

Life is a blur from late October through late January. Holidays and events come at us one after another and sometimes in groups. With young kids in the house there is a certain degree of insanity that occurs from Halloween through Christmas and in our house we are further blessed with both kids having birthdays in January. Yes, insanity from October through the last weekend of January. Fun!

We are in the home stretch. We enjoyed the holidays and are moving towards the birthdays. How are they turning 2 and 6? That absolutely amazes me. The time has gone so quickly but yet it seems I’ve been a mom for a long time now. They are a blessing and are so much fun. They throw us curves but they bring so much joy. But I still have to pull off their birthdays. It always catches me off guard even though I know they are there.

The theme for K this year is under the sea. He wants a cake shaped like a 6 with 2 divers a shark and an octopus. Specificity is good, but daunting. For those who don’t know, the reason it is daunting is because I have to actually produce said cake due to K’s food allergies. Allergies are another post for another day but they are always a part of our daily life.

So, here I am trying to figure out how to create this masterpiece. I set the bar high last year with his rainforest cake. Safari Ltd Rainforest Toob provided the accessories quite nicely for me. I’ve not yet found a comparable under the sea set. I’m leaning towards buying Playmobil Divers in Tropical Reef.

http://store.playmobilusa.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-US-Site/en_US/Product-Show?pid=4488&cgid=Meerestierexpedition

Thankfully T is too young to really care. His cake will be Elmo, or Mehmo as he would say :-) They are growing up so quickly.

Finally succumbed to starting a blog

So, I got an e-mail today, in my slowly dying yahoo inbox, saying the website we have used to capture the boys early years is shutting down this year. What to do? What to do?

Yep, the answer I came up with was to go ahead and do it. I've been dragging my feet for quite a while. Should I? Shouldn't I?

Well, I did and here we are.

Welcome to my first foray into blogging. The name is somewhat self explanatory ;-) I am the Yankee and my husband of 7 years, M, and two little boys, K and T, are the three Southern Gentlemen (most of the time). Both boys have birthdays later this month when they will turn 6 and 2 respectively. We live in East Tennessee and love it.