Finding the line

So, we have the diagnosis of APD.  It is helpful to know that K hasn't just been willfully disobediant and/or defiant.  It has helped our relationships with him to know that.  BUT, we are struggling with how do we differentiate between blatant behavioral issues and APD related lack of understanding.  It is a challenging place to be as a parent.

Clearly there are boundaries.  Hauling off and hitting his brother is automatic time out for K.  But, what about 'K, go do ~insert single task here~'?   

Volume level in the house is another one.  Inside voices has been a phrase we have used for 5 years with K.  Clearly not something new.  That said, does K's volume escalate when he is struggling due to APD?  Kevin is also a sensory seeker (SID) so that coupled with the issues of not being able to 'hear' and yikes what is a parent to do?

His diagnosis was generalized APD with larger issues (I know that isn't the right phrase) with Tolerance Memory Fading and Decoding.  One example from the testing was the test sentence was 'Answer the telephone when it rings.' and K heard 'How does the doorbell ring?'.   During another part of the testing one word was played in one ear, another in the other, and two words simultaneously in both.  K was instructed to repeat the 4 words and he shut down not long into it because, to quote K, 'there aren't 4 words!'.

I'm doing some reading right now to ground myself and try to get the ball rolling, so to speak.  K starts Fast ForWord on July 6 and will do that through August 16 with school starting the 18th.  He will continue in OT during the summer and will start speech therapy in August with a ST who goes to visits his school (private school and private ST).

As a type A, control freak mother, I am coming to terms with things not being controllable, predictable, or even at times understandable.  It is humbling.  But, the love I feel for my children is endless and supporting, loving, and helping them is far more important to me than being in control.

Similar to when we got the allergy diagnosis there is a period of grieving, a time to reflect upon that which won't play out how we anticipated and hoped.  I wouldn't trade K for anything, so it is merely a time where I come to terms with the diagnosis,  accept things for what they are, arm myself with as much knowledge as possible, and move on with the process of providing him with the tools and skills to be his best, whatever that may be.

How can I resist a smile like this, right?  Smiles like the one in the picture below are all the encouragement a mother needs.