Back to school has already come!

Wow, how did that happen?  Where did summer go?  Seriously, where did it go?

Things wrapped up well.  K completed Fast ForWord and the initial word from his evaluation with the Speech and Hearing Center is that he is still presenting with deficits but he has improved overall.  That is always a relief when you invest a lot of time and money into a program.  He goes for his language re-evaluation in about 10 days.

The FM transmitter has officially been purchased and is being used in the classroom.  There is another boy in K's class who has APD who does not have the transmitter so I encouraged the teacher to seat them together.  I had a fantastic meeting with the Dean of Students and K's teacher before school started.  She is new to the school but has been teaching for a while.  She has a great attitude, asked great questions and has even used an FM transmitter in her classrooms previously.  All good news!

We have met with a Child Psychologist a few times to work on family dynamics, discipline, and tantrums post APD diagnosis.  We have been struggling to figure out where to draw the line, where to cut slack, what are reasonable expectations, etc.  She has recommended a couple of books that we have found interesting...Quirky Kids by Peri Klass and Explosive Child by Ross Greene.  Like all such books not 100% applicable but enough nuggets and ideas to help us along the path as a family.

T started 2 day a week preschool last week.  I thought he would cry and make a scene at drop-off like he does at nursery when we go to church.  For some reason he did great!  Don't interpret that as complaint ;-)  We are relieved and excited.  He has also started potty training which is mind boggling for us considering K didn't really show any progress in that until after 3 1/2.  Another one of those moments where we realize how many signs we missed when K was younger.

I'm busy with work but that is par for the course.  Great projects, great work, just busy.

Hopes dashed but still having hope

So, today was allergy testing day for K.  He has been off of antihistimines since before I went to Park City.  Plenty of time for it to clear his system.  I was out of town on business and connected in Chicago last night flying in this morning for the appointment.

Well, he can eat corn without restraint which is GREAT news!  I was rather panicked at the thought of going corn free.  BUT, after a clear skin test in April and a blood test showing allergy in May, today's skin test confirmed that K is still very allergic to peanuts.  Sigh.

Why do I sigh?  K's school does NOT get food allergies.  They INSISTED on Chick-fil-a chicken nuggets for the Kindergarten Thanksgiving celebration at 10am.  K is to avoid peanuts and peanut oil.  I offered to pay for the alternative (it is a private school) but the principal would NOT budge.  So, I took a half day from work and sat between K and the rest of the kids with an Epi-Pen Jr. in one hand and wipes in the other.  I've gone round and round with the principal over the allergy issue.  She will not take it seriously :-(  Today's appointment means it is another point to confront with her.

So, now I have a child who has a special needs diagnosis that will involve visible interventions in the classroom who also has a life threatening food allergy.  I have this awful feeling in my stomach that I'm the mother of the kid that will be the class punching bag in another couple of years.  I'm working to build confidence in him to try to avoid this situation but it is honestly one of my biggest fears.  I know K will be a productive, happy, well-adjusted adult.  It is elementary, middle and high school that scare the daylights out of me as a mother.

I'm reading Quirky Kids and It's So Hard to be Your Friend right now.  Perhaps this is why I'm so focused on this.  I don't know.  I do know that kids can be downright mean.  K's allergy means he can't sit with the other kids at lunch.  He will have an FM transmitter in the classroom this year.  Part of me wants to not do those things but putting ones life on the line and suboptimtizing the rest of the learning potential due to social concerns just isn't right.

Sometimes choices are quite hard and do not have clarity at the time the choices are made.  I hope K and his classmates make good choices over the years.

I love you K!  You are an amazing boy!  I'm so proud of all you are doing this summer with Fast ForWord.  You will thrive and do great things!

The chaos continues but life is good

So, we are a month into the house being a mess due to our home improvement project.  I had to go to pick up more supplies today, the second time we have done so since starting.  The job was supposed to be finished June 23, today is July 10 and there are at LEAST two days of work left.  I am SO over it.  I want my house back.  We are working until 10pm at night sorting materials each night.  It looks good so far but I'm not sure the price was worth it.  I'm sure over time it will be but I'm jaded right now.

On another note, I'm mortified to admit that K and I were late to his appointment with the Psych today.  I got home after errands and forgot there was no carseat in my car and well, we didn't get there in time.  She was understanding but it frustrates me that I goofed.  I wanted to get this underway and it will have to wait until next week.  Our appointment is 8am next week which means up and out on a Saturday.

K started Fast ForWord this week.  He seems to be doing well with it and enjoying it.  He earned 11 Fast ForWord dollars and his prize for the week was a set of Heroes and Villans Star Wars playing cards.  So, we have not transferred his obsession to something that all of us can enjoy which is a good thing.  We have been playing games of War all weekend and K is absolutely LOVING it.  I like that he loves it as it is good from a math, general processing and motor skills perspective.  Sweeping and stacking the cards quickly is putting him to work quite a bit.

Other than the home improvement project, things are generally very good.

We had a great trip last weekend as a family to see my brother and his family.  We had a fantastic time which included the Bronx Zoo, multiple sets of fireworks, boat rides on the Hudson, swimming, playing in my brother's AWESOME yard,  a trip into the city for dinner and The Addams Family for my husband and I, and plenty of great play time for the cousins.

This weekend we are enjoying our first weekend at home as a family in three weeks.  The weather seems to have broken a bit and we are enjoying play time inside and out.  Life is good!

What is my intent?

To be honest, I'm not 100% sure.  I attended evoconference (#evoconf on Twitter) this week for work.  We were sponsors of the conference but I also attended as a fledgling blogger.  Two producers from Oprah spoke in one of the keynotes and said one of the questions they ask of the guests is 'What is your intent?'.  They emphasized the importance of intent in the space of social media and life in general.

So, what is my intent?  I've been pondering it a lot as I enjoyed the beautiful scenery in Park City, UT and as I traveled home again.  At a higher level it is to live a positive life, love those around me, do my best as a mother, do good in general, and be a positive contributor to society.  As it relates to blogging, I really am not sure.

I'm a Mommy.  I'm a WOHM.  I'm the mother of a special needs child.  I'm a wife.  I'm a daughter.  I'm a sister.  I'm an employer.  Some of these jobs I do better than others.  I am human, I cannot be everything to everyone.  I have a lot of opportunity areas in life.  There are many places I feel I should be doing more but I haven't quite figured out how to get there.

Back to blogging.  What is my intent?  I believe my intent is to talk about some of the challenges of all of these things.  Some days I suspect my blog will drift more to the side of raising a special needs child and Auditory Processing Disorder.  Then again, I'm not sure K has been fully diagnosed so making it an APD blog seems narrow.

So, for now, I soak in the words and thoughts shared at EVO and just keep typing.  I found the closing keynote by Brene Brown (#brenebrown and www.brenebrown.com) and Karen Walrond (#chookooloonks and www.chookooloonks.com) to be incredibly inspiring.  The concepts of authenticity and embracing your different are hard ones for many women to come to terms with on a day to day basis.  We so struggle with being everything to everyone and we simply cannot live up to such standards.

So, for now, I'm a mother, a wife, a daughter, an employee, a blogger, a housekeeper, and an employer.  I will do my best and be who I am in those endeavors.

I will also be looking forward to Brene and Karen's new books this fall.

Thanks Evo Conference for the food for thought, the good times, and the beautiful scenery.

Absolute Chaos!

Home improvement projects are painful.  There is absolutely no way around it.  If you vacate during the work, you miss errors and mistakes and come home at a point too late.  If you live in the house during it the disruption of routine, the noise, the mess, the clutter...OH MY!

We have wanted hardwood floors since we bought our house in early 2005.  We are an atopic family.  Dust allergies abounding, not to mention allergies to pretty much everything green.  So, hardwoods are perfect.  We decided to go ahead and do it this spring.  We picked our floor, got the estimates and work started last Monday.

Calamity after calamity.  Cracked boards, gauges, albino board next to dark board in prominent place.  Nothing life threatening but certainly a PITA!  The contractor is holding up their end of the deal but it is still painful.

So, do I really want to design and build the house of my dreams?  If 1,200 sq. ft. of hardwood is this painful what would a whole house be...not sure I have it in me.

M and I are traveling to Park City this week without the kids so I can attend the Evo Conference (#evoconf  www.evoconference.com) for work.  It should be a nice getaway and it should significantly help this pitiful blog ;-)   Shortly thereafter we will go to see my brother for the first time in about 7 years (I've seen him but not been to his house).  I suspect our house will be chaotic for a while.

K had his orientation for Fast ForWord this week and did well with it.  He starts July 6th...2 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks.  Fingers crossed that it jump starts him for 1st grade.

It is hard to not make comparisons

So, K and T are 4 years and 2 days apart age-wise.  I've talked a lot about K and his challenges.  We didn't really get started on figuring all of it out until he was 4 which was when we moved him from a daycare to the parochial pre-school.  What a journey it has been since.

T is a blossoming 2 year old.  He is learning and developing and essentially bursting at the seams.  It makes me realize what we missed with K.  I cannot go back and change the past but given early intervention is the key, it does make me want to bang my head against the wall quite a bit.

T is delayed in teething but seemingly not so on anything else.  He can count to 12, he can count down from 10 (to blastoff), he can recognize about 10 letters, he easily recognize shapes in the world (as opposed to identifying on a shape puzzle).  His words are exploding, his reasoning is impressive, and to top it off his physical capabilities are rapidly approaching K's.

M and I work hard to give the boys their individual time to allow each of them to shine in the way that is most relevant to them.  It is hard but appreciated.  K shines so much when we spend the one-on-one time and he isn't competing.  You can tell that he can tell that he is different than T.  It breaks my heart but it is only the first of many times that he will learn this and have to cope.  So, we work on developing his confidence and skills.

I worry about what is to come.  Kids are cruel.  I worry about accomodations at school causing him to be picked on by peers.  Hopefully his extrovert nature will help overcome that.  We will cross the bridge when we come to it.  He was pretty down by the end of the school year 'I can't know how to do that' was creeping back into his lexicon.  It breaks a mother's heart but at the same time strengthens the resolve to provide tools.

He is thriving in camp right now.  He came home beaming about the fish he caught today.  He is red faced and absolutely exhausted by the end of the day.  Saturday he took a 2 hour nap for the first time in ages.  Our hope is to restore his confidence over the summer with fun activities that help push his core muscles and gross motor not to mention help with APD by forcing bilateral involvement.  Fast ForWord should help establish more solid footing before school starts on a more academic level.

On another note, a colleague lost her son far too early.  It has made me hug and hold my boys even more closely.  Please keep the family of Henry Louis Granju in your thoughts and prayers.   You can read more on his mother's blog  http://mamapundit.com/    Some of the reason I fear how cruel kids are is that I could see K wanting to fit in and falling in with the wrong crowd.

My initial consult with the Child Psych regarding K is in late June.  Stay tuned.

Really? No, really? Corn?

I am positively reeling.  Sucker punch to the gut, or baseball bat type reeling.  If I may say so, that it saying something.  I'm talking, that if it were here, I could polish off a whole package of Oreos, or a quart of ice cream.  I'm stunned, I'm panicked, I'm absolutely reeling.

I have been an allergy parent for 6 years.  My 6 year old K has had no less than 4 rounds of skin prick testing and 4 rounds of RAST blood work.  He had his most recent round of skin testing in April and they happened to include corn.

He tested positive.  The lovely nurse practitioner said it could be a false positive due to high pollen season. I shrugged and went along happily.  She wanted to rule it out by including it on the RAST panel they were running because K's peanut skin test was negative.

The bloodwork came back yesterday.  There was no ruling out.  It was confirmed.  Corn.  An American boy living in the suburbs has both positive skin and blood tests to corn.  This isn't a kid who lives adjacent to Alice Waters in Berkeley.  A suburban American kid in East Tennessee.

No really...corn.  Not gluten, not nuts, not milk, all of which seem to be at least somewhat understandable in today's society.  But corn.  Not in the top 8, with no labeling requirements to address it, corn.

WTH????

The NP said she would like us to remove corn from his diet until we come back July 22.

Corn?

For the first time in my life as an allergy parent I honestly don't know that I can do strict avoidance.  I am leaning towards only removing closer to whole things.  Actual corn, corn chips, corn muffins, use of corn meal, etc.

Really, could a kid who existed almost solely on ketchup, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, crackers, french fries for how many years be allergic to processed corn?   The ketchup, nuggets and crackers are all laden with it.

On the flip side, we have had many unexplained instances where after eating a meal K has described his body as tingly.  We have had many instances of that with mixed vegetables.  That was the reason she put corn on the spt panel.  We thought he was making stuff up.

No popcorn?  No Fritos?  A Southern kid who can't eat cornbread?  No nachos?

My grocery bill just went up by $150/month if this is going to be our new reality.

I am honestly rather paralyzed in terms of what to do.

Corn???